You know you’re a debater when

This was stolen by Sarah Dana but it was so good I had to post it here.

1. You have no pens left because your sibling has thrown them into the hallway after you dropped it for the 999th time in class.

2. You are missing your favorite pen because it is sitting in your debate box.

3. You have worked longer on trying to perfect your pen flip than on trying to learn your Spanish vocabulary (and still don’t have it down…).

4. You’re up til 3 AM on Thursday night perfecting your aff case.

5. You keep all your possessions in debate boxes.

6. Whenever you read, it is out-loud and fast.

7. You can read out-loud faster then you can in your head.

8. You use sub-points in everyday conversation.

9. instead of saying “I said” you say “Cross apply my previous argument about…”

10. You have never been seen without a bottle of water nearby.

11. You practice the pen flip in your sleep.

12. You can only talk in 5 or 8 minute segments.

13. You constantly get in trouble for reading too fast and not breathing in class

14. You’ve accidentally called your notes flows in class and got laughed at.

15. You like men/women in dress clothes

16. You spell ‘critque’ with 2 K’s.. KRITIK

17. The first thing you look for when looking for a college is if it has a good debate team or not.

18. You run out of paper in class so hesitantly take notes on the back of old flows which happen to be in your backpack.

19. Staying at school/doing homework til 7 or 8 at night everyday is no big deal to you.

20. You don’t make weekend plans during the season.

21. Going on 3 hours of sleep isn’t a big deal to you.

22. When you have free time during the day, you RESEARCH.

23. All of your notes for class are unintelligible to normal people… “what’s an O with a little line through it!?”

24. At random times in class your pen flies across the room.

25. Multi-Tasking is your friend.

26. You can iron better than your mom can.

27. When your friends ask you what you did this past summer you said you went to debate camp…. and actually had fun and want to go back!

28. You start talking really fast when you get excited.

29. You abbreviate almost everything.

30. You consider Speed Drills fun.

31. You can go for days on water and caffeine.

32. You’re amazing at wheeling your dolley in any condition

33. You stay over at a friend’s house, and in the morning, they say that you were debating in your sleep, and all you can think to say is, “Well, did I win?”

34. Your friends and family think that debate is violent because you talk about hitting other teams.

35. When you hear NFL you no longer think of football.

36. The first thing that comes to mind when you hear last names are the memories of last year’s tournaments.

37. When you hear the name of a school the second thing that comes to mind is what kind of a debate team they have and members of that team

38.Your parents want you to quit debate because they say it’s too hard to argue with you anymore

39. The days of the week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, write-your-case-again-day, nerve-wrecking-day, debate-day, unwind-day.

40. You can link just about anything to nuclear war or foreign aid.

41. You can repeat the year’s resolution for debate when anyone asks you about debate.

42. When listening to a song you make a parody relating to debate about it.

43.You say the year’s resolution to someone who asks what you debate about and want to slap them when they don’t get it.

44.You used to look at random websites while you IMed – now you do research.

45.When you see the word “flower”, you think of someone sitting in the back of the room flowing as opposed to some sort of a plant.

46.You have recurring dreams about actual rounds.

47. When even in the “off” season, you still live, breathe, think and research debate.

48. Your team has at least one Rubik’s Cube at every tournament.

49.You find old maps of churches lying around in random places.

50. Talking to a wall isn’t a big deal to you anymore.

51. You know that perms aren’t just for your hair.

52. You think debate jokes are funny. (What’s a pirate’s favorite speech? The 2AaRRRRrrR.)

53. When someone says something offensive you say “I’m going to run a Kritik on that comment”

54. You use debate jargon in normal conversation

55. The round you lost was always the judge’s fault

56. A large majority of your Facebook friends are debaters.

57. A fire alarm goes off, the first thing saved are your research boxes.

58. Your mom says, “Because I said so.” and your answer is, “There is no warrant to that argument.”

59. You know what addressed and dropped means.

60.Your friends ask you when you can go to a movie and you say in April, when debate is over.

61. When you use timers for alarm clocks.

62. You have a larger vocabulary than your English teacher.

63. You have in class debates about anything, history, english, etc. everyone wants to be your partner.

64. Your teachers try to debate whether or not the UN is effective and you win.

65. You actually have a favorite pen.

66. You have certain in-round superstitions about pens, flow paper, box order, etc.

67. It just doesn’t feel right that you’re home on a Friday/Saturday during breaks.

68. Your teacher gets off topic and you raise your hand and tell them they aren’t topical

69.You use the word justified in normal conversation, at least twice a day.

70. Cross-Ex is the highlight of your life

71. You can actually get a date by saying “Why don’t we cross examine each other so I can work on my flow.”

72. You’re listening to a boring lecture in class and you flip your pen and everyone around is like, “How do you do that??”

73. Personalities are categorized into “interpers”, “platformers”, etc.

74. You just can’t imagine some people not wearing suits…

75. Your other friends no longer understand you.

76. You can’t stand it when people say “Good” in response to “How are you?” (It’s well! WELL!)

77. Altoids + energy bar + water = three course meal.

78. Debate comes up in every outside conversation whether it’s relevant or not.

79. You’re talking to friends and always point out the link, brink, and impact of your arguments.

80. You dream about debate rounds

81. The season is over and so is your social life

82. You wake up in your room on Saturday morning and think “Where the heck am I?” because you’re not in a hotel room.

83. Instead of carrying around normal white lined paper at school, you carry around yellow legal pads

84. Anytime you see someone putting up a poster, you get nervous and ask if you broke.

85. The only mosh pits you’ve been in are the ones in front of postings

86. No one looks at you strangely if you say “Everyone that I hit broke!”

87. Whenever the word “break” is uttered in any classroom setting, you immediately turn to the utterer and say “Where?!”

88. In the event of a global thermonuclear war, your first response would be to look at the affirmative team and say “I told you so.”

89. A teacher writes a discussion question on the board and you’ve already broken it down into three areas of analysis before your classmates have finished copying it down.

90. The phrase “you spread and I flow” isn’t an innuendo. It’s a drill that you hate.

91. A vast majority of the stories you tell people start out with: “When I was at debate camp…”

92. Most of your non-debater friends have heard all of your debate camp stories, and are starting to get sick of them (some may even be able to recite them back to you as if they were there too).

93. None of your friends have suits, but yours is your favorite outfit in your wardrobe.

94. You hear someone say “i.e.” and you no longer think example, but rather individual event

95. You hear the word “pic” you no longer think of pictures, but Plan Inclusive Counterplans

96. Non-debate friends tell you that your lay judge speed is too fast for them.

97. People who’ve broken at tournaments become mini-celebrities to everyone on your team, and your coach refers to them during practice

98. Your friends look at you strangely when you start spouting off debate abbreviations, and even more so when you try to explain what they stand for.

99. You hang out after school at debate practice even when you don’t have a tournament that week.

100. Your friends tell you that if you start one more story with “This one time at a debate tournament…” they will disown you.

101. Your parents forbid you to talk to your relatives about politics, because you end up making them angry, or converting them.

102. You can survive entire Saturdays on $3.

103. You find yourself verbally countering what people say even if you don’t actually disagree with them.

104. You don’t know people by their first names, you know them by their last names, and how abusive their 2AR argument was.

105. You’re friends with more debaters from other cities than kids from your own community.

106. You have to explain your views of Nihilism and Nietzsche to a suicide-prevention counselor after writing an 8 page report as to how meaningless life is.

107. You can understand the fast-talking disclaimer at the end of commercials.

108. You don’t do your homework, tell your teacher you left it at a tournament, and they believe you.

109. You have the ability to reduce someone down to a crying, whimpering pile of humanity by convincing them that they don’t exist and reality is a myth.

110. You get into an argument over whether they should be called expandos or accordion files.

111. You talk about debate friends so much, people think they’re imaginary.

112. You have a weird obsessive twitch while reading anything—for example, tapping your foot or waving your hand maniacally.

113. You get into fights with members of the IE team because they say that debate is incoherent babble that will get you nowhere.

114. You spend more money on ties, suit separates, suits, and dress shirts than casual wear.

115. Your English teacher gives you a reading list and, the next day, you hand them back a stack of flows about each book, including argumentative analysis stating exactly why each book is a completely unrealistic vision of the planet and the only vision that makes sense ends in global nuclear conflict.

116. You wait for an instance when someone brings up something relating to the current debate resolution so you can pounce on them with your argumentative superiority.

117. More than half of your groups contain the word “debate.”

118. Your favorite Christmas present was a package of your favorite flow pens.

119. You start to truly admire lint rollers, and your life almost depends on them.

120. You get a car for your 16th birthday, and the first you think is, “Oh thank God, there is room for my debate boxes!”

121. Your non-debate friends think you’re in a relationship with your debate partner of the opposite sex because you spend so much time with them.

122. You have categories of friends: Debate friends and non-debate friends.

123. Half of your pens are mangled and destroyed from countless hours of speed drills.

124. Your computer screen is covered in dots of spit from speaking with it in front of you.

125. You see someone in a suit running and wonder if you’re late for a round somewhere… and it’s not even a tournament.

126. The only muscles you have are from lifting tubs.

127. You have an off-topic classroom discussion with points and sub-points.

128. You stop calling first year students “freshmen” and start calling them “novice.”

129. You hear the word “observation” or “value” and automatically think debate.

130. You spent all day doing homework yet still feel unproductive because you only cut 10 cards.

131. You only add people from debate on Facebook to see if they’re talking about their cases/research.

132. You are talking to someone, find out they are a policy debater, and they become infinitely more attractive.

133. You use your debate evidence for your research papers.

134.You get really annoyed when you have to tell people what OO, OI, HI, DI, Pers, or DUO stands for.

135. There is nothing you hate more than getting a ballot back that only says “Great job” on it.

136.You don’t have enough time to clap more than once for someone who has worked weeks to place at a tournament.

137. Actually, you probably memorized your piece/wrote your cases the night before.

138. You do/have done most of the things on this list, and realized it.

139. You flow everything that you hear.

140. Your #1 hobby is researching. You even dream about doing it. :)

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